The only Revolution is the Evolution of Consciousness
It's been a month or so since the world took an unexpected turn...
worldwide panic originally forced me into physical lockdown... days before the actual lockdown started, my body stopped moving. At the time I was in the process of investigating a new project based on stones. I was in a state of being very grounded, yet the overall fear and anxiety quickly penetrated my skin. I found myself isolated in the countryside, far from the people I love, stuck in a room not being able to leave my chair. It took a moment of crazy impulsivity to suddenly jump up and return to Berlin. To my surprise, the city presented itself with less fear and anxiety, but with a lot of people locked into self-quarantine framed by the soft cameraview of their phones and computers. A wave of streaming was shaping itself around me... from meetings, birthdays and dinners with friends to online offerings, classes and workshops.... before I could even open my eyes to understnad what was going on in the world, I was bombarded from all sides with images of dancers sharing their movement with ohters. like a tsunami wave of overstimulated danceacts filled my screen every time i went online. A second wave of paralasys took over my body.
since then i sit still, quietly weeping inside, confused and lost, contemplating on why i dance in the first place, why something in me refuses completely to join the Streaming Wave, why recently i started to escape into the forrest and try to dance for the trees - without great succes, why for weeks my artistic drive has been frozen down, why all i think about is what job I could do next and not only for paying my rent but for not feeling as pointless as i feel right now... why I would want to create art and performance at all anymore...
so many questions and more...little answers or at all...staying offline is a conscious or subconscious choice...
i decided to start this blog to share my thoughts as they come...not to solve them but to share...not to add more to the online world but to have a platform to document my steps of how i started to dance again on the street alone...
what is performance art without audience and stage? what am i as a visual artists and dancer without eyes to see my creation? if a painter will just keep painting no matter what...how come i paralyse and stop as soon as there is no physical sharing with others involved... and if this lockdown will continue like this, perhaps taking months or years until we can dance toghether again, how can i live? what do I create? does the world still need someone like me?
worldwide panic originally forced me into physical lockdown... days before the actual lockdown started, my body stopped moving. At the time I was in the process of investigating a new project based on stones. I was in a state of being very grounded, yet the overall fear and anxiety quickly penetrated my skin. I found myself isolated in the countryside, far from the people I love, stuck in a room not being able to leave my chair. It took a moment of crazy impulsivity to suddenly jump up and return to Berlin. To my surprise, the city presented itself with less fear and anxiety, but with a lot of people locked into self-quarantine framed by the soft cameraview of their phones and computers. A wave of streaming was shaping itself around me... from meetings, birthdays and dinners with friends to online offerings, classes and workshops.... before I could even open my eyes to understnad what was going on in the world, I was bombarded from all sides with images of dancers sharing their movement with ohters. like a tsunami wave of overstimulated danceacts filled my screen every time i went online. A second wave of paralasys took over my body.
since then i sit still, quietly weeping inside, confused and lost, contemplating on why i dance in the first place, why something in me refuses completely to join the Streaming Wave, why recently i started to escape into the forrest and try to dance for the trees - without great succes, why for weeks my artistic drive has been frozen down, why all i think about is what job I could do next and not only for paying my rent but for not feeling as pointless as i feel right now... why I would want to create art and performance at all anymore...
so many questions and more...little answers or at all...staying offline is a conscious or subconscious choice...
i decided to start this blog to share my thoughts as they come...not to solve them but to share...not to add more to the online world but to have a platform to document my steps of how i started to dance again on the street alone...
what is performance art without audience and stage? what am i as a visual artists and dancer without eyes to see my creation? if a painter will just keep painting no matter what...how come i paralyse and stop as soon as there is no physical sharing with others involved... and if this lockdown will continue like this, perhaps taking months or years until we can dance toghether again, how can i live? what do I create? does the world still need someone like me?